Saturday, February 14, 2015

The Portland Food Pyramid

A cautionary tale: this is what happens when you spend too much time on social media.

On Thursday, I tweeted about my lunch at Burgerville. Technically, I guess it was a sub-sub-tweet, since I didn't mention the name of the restaurant or even the specific food items (pepper bacon cheeseburger, waffle cut fries, chocolate milkshake). Anyway. My fellow Portlandians Wink and Brian added their own remarks, and then Larry cascaded it into a very cheesy conversation.

Meanwhile, on Facebook—where my tweets get auto-cross-posted—others continued the ad hoc comedy workshopping. And because I have nothing better to do on a Friday night than answer Puzzled Pint e-mails and watch Downton Abbey, I decided to turn my hasty sketch into something more suitable for Thomas to post in his kitchen.

Here's the original:

And now (drum roll, please) the new hotness:

The pictured foodstuffs are (top to bottom, left to right):
I'm not sure when in the process the diagram became Portland-specific, but it just felt right. Also note that everything is covered in cheese because come on why wouldn't you do that.

If this infographic amuses you, <zoidberg>HOORAY!</zoidberg> And Happy Valentine's Day? Feel free to share the permalink:

So that happened.

This concludes tonight's episode of How's Curtis Wasting His Goddamn Time Now? Come back next week for more frivolity. Or just follow me on Twitter if you simply cannot wait that long.

<3 CKL



Anonymous said...

I had to check if you had any affiliation with the AARDVARK hot sauce.

Chris M. Dickson said...

Meg and I are sharing Valentine's Day delivery pizza and my gut reaction is "There's got to be a pizza that goes 11-for-11 here". On further reflection there probably isn't (at least, not one I'd want to eat except as a stunt) but you could quite easily make a pizza followed by a cheesecake, served with a beer or two on the side, which would get a full house.

CKL said...

ANONYMOUS: I am not an aardvark.

CHRIS: I would be simultaneously repulsed but irresistibly drawn to a "goes to eleven" pizza. It would, of course, be made with a cornmeal crust and served with a boilermaker. :)