"I wonder how hard it would be to kill a nun."
- while watching The Magdalene Sisters
"Come on in! We have ants and a spider."
- to friends visiting tonight, one of whom helped us research whether the spider in question was a black widow (we're not sure, but he took it far, far away); the other suggested we surround our toilet with ground cinnamon to keep the invading ants at bay (it worked very well).