I Like Signage

One of the many reasons I loved Star Trek: The Next Generation was its art direction and set design--in particular, the signage. Here are a few examples, courtesy of Ex Astris Scientia:



Of course, the text shown on these signs consists of various jokes, including song lyrics and references to other TV shows and movies. But in the world of the series, I love the idea that everything on the Enterprise-D was clearly labeled, and even a new crew member would be able to easily find what they were looking for by checking a map, asking the computer, and/or reading signs.

In the bachelor pad apartment I had right after college (which I shared for a time with this roommate), I made my own paper-and-tape signs for a lot of things. I labeled which switch was the light and which was the fan in the bathroom; I labeled what that one random switch on the wall by the kitchen did; I even put a sign on the bottom of the toilet seat cover to remind guests to put the lid down after using it.* And in our current home, we have signs showing where the trash and recycling bins are in the kitchen. (Some guests still get confused, but that's another story.)

Why so many signs? Because each label I can read is information I don't have to remember. We can debate about whether it takes more mental effort to read a couple of words than to recall the same fact, but the point is, I'm used to reading signs. Reading signs and interpreting their meaning is how I survive in the world. I'm doing it several times a minute while I drive, I do it every time I look for the restroom in a new bar or restaurant, and basic literacy is a requirement for using Twitter. Signage is civilization.

More than that, signage is inclusive. Putting up a sign is an implicit welcome to people who aren't intimately familiar with the culture of your place, who may not understand all the "unwritten rules" or traditional etiquette. Posting a sign means you acknowledge that the people who visit may not have studied the complete local history before stopping by--and that's okay.

I don't like not knowing the rules when I meet people or go to a new place. I don't like people not telling me the rules but acting like I should know them anyway. You don't want people in your club? Fine. Just make it clear that it's a private thing. Don't be a dick by pretending like anyone can come in, then treating the uninitiated like they're second class citizens. Everyone was a newbie once, and of course nobody's going to know what your rules are if you don't make the rulebook available.

Maybe it makes you feel more important if you have the power to make other people feel bad. And maybe you'll eventually alienate so many people that they go away and make a bigger, better organization without you, and you become the underprivileged. At which point you'd better hope those unwashed masses don't hold a grudge.

So that's why I like signs, I like FAQs, I always look for the "about" page when visiting a new web site, and I always read the fine print. Because even if you were pressured by threat of legal action to put it there, even if it's written in dense legalese, and even if most of it is boilerplate, it's inviting me to learn about you. And that's a friendly gesture.

~CKL

* Closing the lid entirely bypasses the inane "leave the seat up or down?" question that often divides women and men. It also prevents pets and small children from accidentally falling into the bowl.

I Just Want the Damn Screeners

Very rarely does moviegoing feel like a chore to me, but it does happen once in a while. (Like the time we decided to watch all three extended-edition Lord of the Rings movies in a single day... but that's another story.)

The 2014 Oscar nominations were announced on January 16th. The awards will be handed out on March 2nd. That's just forty-five days--barely a month and a half--for Academy voters (and interested civilians like moi) to make their decisions. And once again this year, there are nine Best Picture nominees. Nine! DeeAnn and I have seen three of them. The least depressing ones, apparently. More on that later.

I don't have a horse in this race, but suppose--just suppose--you're a conscientious Academy member who wants to actually watch all the nominated films before voting. Well, you've got your work cut out for you. Ballots are due back to PricewaterhouseCoopers for final tabulation no later than 5:00 PM Pacific Time on February 25th. And in the worst-case scenario--i.e., you haven't seen any of the nominees--you've got fifty-seven movies to watch in just forty days.

(ASIDE: it's not actually that bad, since fifteen of those nominees are short films--five each of documentary, animated, and live action--and you could cheat on original song by voting for a song without having seen the film in which it's featured, and you may not actually be eligible to vote in some categories because of your specific profession. But for the sake of the thought experiment, let's examine the absolute worst case here.)

If you wanted to watch every single one of the nominated films before voting, you'd have to watch an average of three movies every two days. That in itself is not a hardship--people pay to sit through much more than that at film festivals--but the catch is that many of these movies are only playing in theatres. If you're an Academy member in Los Angeles, your card will get you into any number of screenings for free, and you've probably also got a stack of DVDs at home sent to you by the studios. So it's just a matter of making the time.

But what about the aforementioned civilians, like myself, who are interested in the big pageant and want to have informed opinions at their viewing parties? That's a lot tougher. Of the Best Picture nominees, only one (Captain Phillips) has been released on DVD so far. A few years ago, Shorts International started packaging each year's nominated live action and animated shorts for limited theatrical runs (and sells some of them on iTunes, though availability there is spotty). Some of the foreign films might never see an American release. The only good news, I suppose, is that all the Documentary Feature nominees are available for home viewing, and four out of the five (The Act of Killing, Cutie and the Boxer, Dirty Wars, and The Square) are on Netflix streaming.

Which brings me to my point: why don't movie studios want to distribute their films more widely? It would seem to be to their advantage to let people buy--or even just rent--movies during awards season, when the media is all fired up about reporting on the races, and even smaller films can get a lot of exposure. Sure, I can pay to see all the Best Picture nominees--but I'd have to drive to at least three different theatres, and plan my day around whatever showtimes were available. If those movies were available to rent from Amazon Instant Video (not iTunes, because their rental interface sucks eggs), I would be all over that--and I'm sure a lot of other people would be, too.

The studios aren't making any more money by limiting my viewing options. They're actually losing money, because many of the films I would see now--while they're Academy Award nominees--I will forget about later, because most of them won't actually win an Oscar, and then I'll lose interest.

It's not the money that's the issue; it's convenience. I will totally spend as much as ten bucks on a movie rental, but I won't spend the time required to find a showtime and location that fit into my schedule. Because at the end of the day, it's just entertainment, and I have lots of other, more convenient options for fun things to do.

I Hate the Word "Tribe"

Just to be clear: this is not a rant against Seth Godin. I actually think he's got some pretty great ideas about leadership, as shown in his TED talk from 2009 (worth watching for the vintage Kindle 1 prop, if nothing else).

My problem is with the word "tribe" and all it implies: exclusion, small-mindedness, and bigotry.

I know. You're probably thinking that tribe is a positive concept, as Godin argues in his book; that it signals connection and camaraderie, often across great distances; that it can be a lifeline for those who feel isolated by their unusual interests. And that is all true and good, ideologically speaking. My specific problem is with terminology, and the unfortunate etymological baggage that comes with calling something a "tribe."

Try this. Do a Google Image Search for the word "tribe." I'm guessing your entire first page of results will be photos of primitive-looking, possibly aboriginal peoples:



And that, I believe, is the first thing that comes to mind when anyone says the word "tribe:" it's not some noble grassroots movement petitioning for political change, and not some far-flung collective which has self-organized over the Internet. No. It's a bunch of crudely dressed people of color standing around a jungle, forest, or other wilderness. In a word: savages.

I know how people want to use the word, as a rallying point--perhaps even subverting that prejudicial, historical meaning--but it's difficult for me to get beyond it. Because the concept of "tribe" is explicitly discriminatory. People talk about "finding their tribe" in a good way, but I'm always painfully aware of the flip side: that by identifying yourself with one group, you are also willfully segregating yourself from others. If only a select group are "your people," then everyone else in the world is, by definition, not your brethren. And that puts you one step closer to thinking of them as your enemy.

Even if you don't go that far, one could argue that these tribal distinctions are necessary and unavoidable. We could talk about the Rule of 150 (a.k.a. Dunbar's number), but it's more fun to discuss...

...the Monkeysphere!

Because, you know, monkeys.

If you haven't yet, go and read "What is the Monkeysphere?" by David Wong. Yes, it's on Cracked.com, but don't let that fool you--the tone may be flippant, but the issues it addresses are serious, and his conclusions are sound.

(BTW, "David Wong" is the pen name of Jason Pargin, executive editor of Cracked.com; he's also written two comic horror novels, John Dies at the End and This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It. I did not make up any of this.)

Wong's basic argument is the same as Dunbar's, Gladwell's, and any number of other social scientists: that there is an upper limit to human beings' cognitive ability to maintain stable social relationships, and that limit is about a hundred and fifty people. But Wong distinguishes himself on page 2 of his article, where he offers this advice:

[R]eject [the] binary thinking of "good vs. bad" or "us vs. them." Know problems cannot be solved with clever slogans and over-simplified step-by-step programs... take the amount you think you know, reduce it by 99.999%, and then you'll have an idea of how much you actually know regarding things outside your Monkeysphere.

It's not about denying our biological deficiencies. It's about acknowledging and accepting those limits, and finding ways to overcome or bypass them. Can't run fast enough to chase down that prey animal? Try riding a horse, or domesticating dogs, or inventing projectile weapons. Not sure when it's going to get cold again or when's a good time to plant crops? Invent the calendar and keep track of annual weather cycles. The history of human civilization is all about us giving Mother Nature the middle finger and saying "screw this, we can do better."

In this case, however, it's not about science or technology or engineering; it's about changing the way we think of ourselves and others, and that is a tough, long-term, cultural conundrum. It's not something we can cure with a pill or a device or legislation or even a good story. It's something that has to happen to every person, individually, as he or she grows up. You've got to be carefully taught and all that.

I hate the word "tribe" because it implies we're still restricted by that cognitive limit, and we can't get beyond it. And that's just not true. Maybe I don't personally know every single one of the hundreds of people I'm connected to through Twitter or Facebook or other social media, but I know a little bit about each of them. And every small piece of information makes those names and tiny pictures more human to me.

It's not about who's in which tribe, or whether I share all (or any) of their likes or dislikes or political views. It's about people, and understanding that diversity is good. I want to be friends with smart people who disagree with me (as long as they're not jerks about it)!

The thing I'm really interested in is community. (I know some people don't like that word either, and I can understand where they're coming from: again, it's all about usage and intent. Prefixing anything with "the" can assign it an undeserved weight--for example, consider the difference between one show called "Following," versus another called "The Following".)

To me, "community" implies openness and a willingness to embrace new members. Fandom is a community. The Internet is chock-full of meeting places for all sorts of virtual communities, new cultures whose only entrance requirement is a shared interest in something. Create an account and you can immediately start posting and commenting and participating.

You might still have to kiss some frogs, but keep trying and you will find a place where you belong. And if that's taking too long? Start your own community. Plant the seed and see what happens. You have nothing to lose but your loneliness.

Friday Flash Fiction: "Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?"

Read "Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?" at 512 Words or Fewer

This week's story gets its title from what I believe may be one of the most hated interview questions of all time. Right up there with "describe your biggest weakness."

The title also signals a moment of retrospection for me: I've been cranking out these 512s for almost five years now--since October, 2008--and living off my savings in the meantime. I'm plausibly closer to building a career as a writer, but I haven't actually done it yet. And all that aside, whatever I end up doing to pay the bills, my ultimate goal is to never have to actually interview for a job ever again.

But that's another blog post.

Friday Flash Fiction: "Now and Later"

For the record: Guns don't murder people. Fucked-up assholes murder people, and they don't need guns to do it. But firearms do carry a lot of psychic freight.

Read "Now and Later" at 512 Words or Fewer

SnoutCast #68: "Customer Service"

Featuring DeeAnn's triumphant return!


[ Download mp3 - 27 MB ]

00:00 - Teaser: Cat Commentary
02:03 - "lucrative"
02:53 - DeeAnn's less-than-stellar Microsoft customer service experience
10:28 - jingoism, comics, and what?
11:30 - why Snout GC offers phone support with live humans
14:46 - different help systems, different Game experiences
21:31 - yet another Hogwarts Game anecdote
25:00 - what have we learned, Charlie Brown?
29:03 - The End

Got a comment or question? E-mail podcast@snout.org or post at snout.org/podcast!

Music: instrumentals from "Code Monkey" and "Baby Got Back" by Jonathan Coulton

[ Subscribe to SnoutCast / iTunes link ]

   

Jon Stewart Likes Pizza

The Daily Show - Me Lover's Pizza With Crazy Broad

I like pizza, too.



That's all.

Spamalot

I received a couple of odd unsolicited e-mails this week. Odd not because they were spammy (spammish?), but because they were clearly personalized and "hand-crafted" (or at least hand-cut-and-pasted-into-a-mail-client). See for yourself below.*

Here's the first one:

Subject: Star Trek creative writing

I see that you've listed Star Trek as an interest in your Google profile. Would you be interested in joining an online Star Trek creative writing/simming group? Basically, about 10-12 fans from around the world collectively write the story of a starship and her crew through email. I'd write a piece of the story (called a post), then you might post, then another might post, and so on.

You can spend as much or as little time with it as you like. Some people post almost daily; some once a week; and some only a couple times a month -- there is no set quota. If this is something you might enjoy, email me back. We'd love to have you join a new adventure. This is just for fun; no pressure.

Thanks again for your time. If you're already a member of another group, just ignore this email.

[signature redacted]

That one, at least, is friendly, if somewhat clueless. A quick web search of the sender's e-mail address revealed that he (and others from the same group) have been contacting others, including posting to forums and blogs, with nearly identical messages. I wish them well, but writing fanfic is really not for me.

Now the second message:

Subject: Hello from Facebook - Have you tried our puzzles?

Hi Curtis,

I hope all is well with you. I came across your name on Linkedin and I see that you're a puzzle enthusiast! That's very cool!

Out of curiosity - Have you tried out Facebook's Puzzles?

www.facebook.com/puzzles

In any case - I wanted to reach out to you to see if you might be interested in exploring engineering opportunities with Facebook?

We are currently experiencing tremendous growth with 600+ million active users and we are looking for great engineers to join our team. With our data growing daily with photos, users, feeds, etc., we are dealing with many interesting challenges and unique problems relating to scalability, capacity, reliability, performance, etc. Our team is relatively small with roughly 500 engineers, so the exposure and chance to impact such a large technical environment and user base is very exciting.

Interested ..or not... please let me know!

Thank you in advance and I look forward to hearing from you.

[signature redacted]

I'm not looking for a job, but this wasn't a complete waste of my time. I helped my former employer run a puzzle-based recruiting campaign back in the day, so I was curious to see what Facebook had come up with. I was disappointed to find that their "puzzles" are all computer programming exercises. Dude, if I wanted to do problem sets, I'd be in grad school.

Obviously, all spammers play the percentages--send out enough e-mails, and the fraction of a percent of suckers you hook will more than pay for the negligible costs of running the campaign. In the two cases above, the perfunctory targeting of each "cold call" doesn't really improve its chances of getting a response. They made it past Gmail's spam filter, but my human intellect is not fooled.



* For the record: If you send me a message, and I find it amusing or otherwise notable, there is a possibility I'll blog or tweet about it. Especially if I don't know you. Strangers have no reasonable expectation of privacy when sending me, well, anything.

Postcard #45

Why don't people sign their postcards?

In Which My Demands Are Not Met

I haven't been able to go out to any movies for a few weeks because of my annoying eye condition. I can still see close up, so I have been able to work on my laptop and catch up on my TV viewing, but I would have preferred to have the option of going out and doing more things--especially this past weekend, when I was in Los Angeles visiting my family.

In particular, there are two movies out now that I'd really like to see (non-English posters from MoviePosterDB.com, for amusement value):

The Social Network and Red will probably still be in second-run venues when my eye gets better in a couple of months (or sooner--knock on wood), but I would be willing to pay to download and watch them on my laptop now. I'd probably even pay a premium for a "rental" option on opening weekend--let's say $20, which is fair-ish assuming you'll have at least two people watching--as long as the terms of use weren't too draconian.

The thing is, the technology already exists. iTunes aside, studios send out thousands of screener DVDs every year after Oscar nominations are announced--often for movies still in wide theatrical release--so Academy members can view the nominated films at their leisure and make an informed voting decision. (Theoretically, anyway--the politics of AMPAS is another post.) But there are all sorts of entrenched business models and traditional arrangements that would be upset by "day-and-date" digital distribution, and nobody wants to risk that kind of major change.

Meanwhile, pirates will always find a way to get you what you want. Not that I'm condoning that sort of activity, but never in human history has criminalizing a behavior eliminated it. And it's stupid to not offer for sale something that people are demonstrably willing to pay for, just because you're paranoid that you won't make enough profit from your media monopoly or too lazy to change anything about your business practices.

Comic Book Report: Irredeemable, Vols. 1 and 2

There are very few comics books I actually purchase in monthly "pamphlet" form, because twenty-some pages just isn't enough story in most cases. And my wife generally isn't interested in a title unless she can get it in collected trade paperback form.

In the case of Irredeemable, even the collections aren't long enough. Only four issues? Are you kidding me here? I really like the story so far, but I'm glad I can get these from the library instead of paying $12 a pop--and that'd be after the Amazon discount. Cover price is $17, or $4.25 an issue. Seriously?

Anyway. Irredeemable is writer Mark Waid's answer to the question: "How does a man go from being the world’s greatest superhero to its greatest supervillain?" He's stated in interviews that as he sees it, "[in] superhero comics, pretty much everyone who’s called upon to put on a cape is, at heart, emotionally equipped for the job." And this is his idea of what might happen if, basically, Superman went truly and completely psycho.

It's a pretty gripping yarn so far, but we'll see how it shakes out after the flashbacks catch up with the real-time narrative.

Buy the books: Volume 1 - Powell's, Amazon; Volume 2 - Powell's, Amazon (affiliate links)

Book Report: The War of Art

I'll be honest: if I hadn't been listening to this as an audio book, and if it hadn't been a day when I was working as an extra, I wouldn't have finished this book. Not even close.

There is some good, solid advice on craft and discipline in the first few chapters, but then Pressfield starts talking about golf and angels and God and other things which, belief aside, I'm not really interested in. I don't want to hear your kooky opinions or half-baked theories about the nature of the universe. And his implication that cancer is merely a symptom of people's unfulfilled dreams is offensive to anyone who's ever lost a family member to the disease.

It's not nearly as bad as Dilbert creator Scott Adams going off the rails, but like I said, if I hadn't been stuck on set with few other entertainment options, I would have dropped it long before the end.

Buy the book: Powell's, Amazon (affiliate links)

TyeCam is Offline

Aside from my problems with the webcam software crashing about once a day, Lenovo computers are shit. I know that comes as a surprise to no one, but I just had to get it off my chest.

Last night, after a bunch of research and then cleaning up my Windows XP registry to fix a problem with my power management profiles not working, I also updated the power management drivers and utilities on my laptop. Today this hunk of junk kept going into standby mode--even though I explicitly disabled that function, because it kills my wireless networking. (No idea why. Started happening in 2008. Repair shop couldn't fix it either.) Now I've uninstalled all the Lenovo crap, and explorer.exe has started crashing.

Yay.

Maybe it's time for that Windows 7 upgrade after all. I didn't want to go through all the trouble of reinstalling a whole damn operating system before, but at this point I'm just about ready to salt the fucking earth. I know, I could install Linux, but that would just be a different set of maintenance headaches. And I wouldn't be able to run most of the software I want.

Some days I really hate computers.