Who Just Got Paid Once for Each Thumb He Has?

I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count:

For the record, that's a check from University Book Store for sales of Thursday's Children trade paperbacks, which Duane Wilkins was kind enough to stock at their table during this year's Rainforest Writers Village and Norwescon; and a check from SFWA for my "Special Synopsis Sauce" blog post, which editor extraordinaire Christie Yant encouraged me to write and submit.

And speaking of blogs, I know it's been several months since I posted here, and the business of writing (as shown above) is a big part of what's kept me away. I stopped doing my weekly "The I in Meat" posts because they were taking time away from more important, possibly income-generating things, and IMHO social media has supplanted blogging as online tools of choice for personal oversharing.

But just like Slack is no replacement for e-mail, there's still a place for blogging in the new internet landscape. I'm going to spend a little time re-figuring out how best to use this platform, especially since I'll be traveling a lot this summer and it might be nice to record some of those experiences.

Meanwhile, Happy Memorial Day Weekend, fellow Americans!

Yet Another Honorable Mention

It's my second from Writers of the Future, but who's counting?



"Bounty Call" (based on this 512) has been submitted to another market.

Incidentally, the story for which I received my first WOTF Honorable Mention--in September, 2011--has just been accepted for publication. See details on my LiveJournal, if we're LJ friendz.

Friday Flash Fiction: "The End"

Read "The End" at 512 Words or Fewer

This is the last of my weekly flash fiction stories. It's been a great, nearly-five-year mission, and I'm ready to move on to something even bigger and better. On the immediate horizon: getting two different novel manuscripts off to four different agents, as follow-up to pitches I made at the Willamette Writers Conference.

After that: working with DeeAnn to put together the "Best of 512" collection we've been talking about for a while. More news on that, possibly including a reader survey, coming soon.

Friday Flash Fiction: "My Least Favorite Martian"

Read "My Least Favorite Martian" at 512 Words or Fewer

According to Wikipedia:

My Favorite Martian was produced at the same time as other situation comedies that featured characters who could do extraordinary things, as a parody of the standard family situation comedy. The show was an example of science fiction comedy, differing from Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie in that the central character was a man, and in that he relied on science and advanced technology rather than magic.

I distinctly remember watching reruns of Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, Star Trek, and Space: 1999 while growing up. This probably explains a lot about who I am today.

Friday Flash Fiction: "Money for Nothing"

Read "Money for Nothing" at 512 Words or Fewer

True: the image in this week's 512 has absolutely nothing to do with the story, but receiving that object in the mail this week was so serendipitous, I couldn't resist showing it off.

Friday Flash Fiction: "Meet Cute"

Read "Meet Cute" at 512 Words or Fewer

Yes, I am ironically referencing a trope. No, I don't know if this would have actually turned into a full-blown romance if I had continued the story. Maybe I'll go back and find out someday. Someday.

Friday Flash Fiction: "Sportsball"

Read "Sportsball" at 512 Words or Fewer

Say it with me, now: four more stories. Four more stories. FOUR MORE STORIES.

Friday Flash Fiction: "Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?"

Read "Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?" at 512 Words or Fewer

This week's story gets its title from what I believe may be one of the most hated interview questions of all time. Right up there with "describe your biggest weakness."

The title also signals a moment of retrospection for me: I've been cranking out these 512s for almost five years now--since October, 2008--and living off my savings in the meantime. I'm plausibly closer to building a career as a writer, but I haven't actually done it yet. And all that aside, whatever I end up doing to pay the bills, my ultimate goal is to never have to actually interview for a job ever again.

But that's another blog post.

Friday Flash Fiction: "Photorps and Emotions"

Read "Photorps and Emotions" at 512 Words or Fewer

This week's story title is a nod to the amazing new Doubleclicks album, Lasers and Feelings!

And yes, it is unabashed Star Trek fanfic. But hey, if Abrams and Scalzi can get paid for doing it, why the hell not?

Friday Flash Fiction: "Bookworm Adventures"

Read "Bookworm Adventures" at 512 Words or Fewer

Happy Fourth of July weekend, everyone! This story/scene has nothing to do with any of that. I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Friday Flash Fiction: "Free Advice"

Read "Free Advice" at 512 Words or Fewer

The problem with writing stories which involve food is that it always makes me hungry.

Incidentally, if you're ever in downtown Portland, Oregon and have a hankering for fish and rice, go check out Sushi Ichiban, where you can re-enact the train robbery of your choice... with sushi!


http://youtu.be/ImPCQnDcphE

Friday Flash Fiction: "Where the Shadows Run From Themselves"

Read "Where the Shadows Run From Themselves" at 512 Words or Fewer

This week's story was tangentially inspired by the upcoming WARTRON: BOSTON Game. You may see some thematic similarities to an earlier 512, "Rhymes with Pork." And the title, of course, comes from this:


http://youtu.be/rvnWuOjJDh4

I am also glad to know I'm not the only person who struggles with which words to capitalize in a title.

Friday Flash Fiction: "Interview with a Gatekeeper"

Read "Interview with a Gatekeeper" at 512 Words or Fewer

Insert your own Twilight Zone, Ghostbusters, and/or Stargate joke here.

Friday Flash Fiction: "In Which Miss Hartfeil Drops Some Science on Her Tenth Grade Classroom"

Read "In Which Miss Hartfeil Drops Some Science on Her Tenth Grade Classroom" at 512 Words or Fewer

Listen, you just keep all your goddamn "Dora the Explorer" jokes to yourself, buster.

Friday Flash Fiction: "This is the Job"

Read "This is the Job" at 512 Words or Fewer

I have no idea where the hell this came from. Really, I promise: I am not a serial killer.

Friday Flash Fiction: "Who Died?"

Read "Who Died?" at 512 Words or Fewer

I like to imagine Jeremy Irons performing this particular monologue. YMMV.

And now, apropos of nothing, some a cappella:


http://youtu.be/tJT4L7HGKzQ

It's been a rough couple of weeks. I guess I'm still processing Matthew's death.

(edited to remove emo coredump)

Friday Flash Fiction: "Down to Earth"

Read "Down to Earth" at 512 Words or Fewer

I freely admit that this week's story was inspired in part by the Gravity trailer:


http://youtu.be/ufsrgE0BYf0

I'm sure I was also influenced by the death of my friend Matthew Schuler.

It's been a rough week. But the show must go on. Make good art and all that.

Friday Flash Fiction: "Dear John"

Read "Dear John" at 512 Words or Fewer

It is entirely possible, if not likely, that today's story was influenced by "Reset," a beautifully creepy short film I saw last week at the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival and CthulhuCon. Here's the trailer:

Friday Flash Fiction: "Overtones"

Read "Overtones" at 512 Words or Fewer

Why, yes, I am working through some personal issues this week. WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT OKAY

Seriously, though, you should try this online exam (free registration required) to see if you can tell the difference between Chinese, Japanese, and Korean faces. The results may surprise you.

One more thing: did you know that Marvel is releasing a special "Chinese version" of Iron Man 3 (opening today) for distribution in China? (Insert your own joke/complaint about Ben Kingsley playing the Mandarin here.)

Friday Flash Fiction: "Hang a Lantern on It"

And just in case you don't know what that phrase means...


http://youtu.be/AMBL4rzlZjQ

Read "Hang a Lantern on It" at 512 Words or Fewer