And don't forget to vote next week, adults!
[ Download mp3 - 24 MB ]
00:58 - "spooky"
02:05 - reminder: GC Summit 2012 videos are now online!
04:41 - Halloween Fun Facts
07:52 - (that sound you hear is Lady Grey leaving the window)
09:52 - bay area haunted houses (e.g., Haunted Fox Hollow)
12:17 - will there ever be another Ghost Patrol BANG?
13:43 - the downside of prizes
15:20 - in which DeeAnn wins a football
19:02 - in which Curtis dresses up as Daniel Boone (not that loser Davy Crockett)
23:02 - as usual: Puzzle Hunt Calendar
25:21 - The End
Tell us we're wrong on the Internet! E-mail podcast@snout.org or post a comment at www.snout.org/podcast.
Music: instrumentals from "Code Monkey" and "Re: Your Brains" by Jonathan Coulton
[ Subscribe to SnoutCast / iTunes link ]
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Friday Flash Fiction: "Five for Fighting"
You know what they say: it's not easy being super. Or even just fearless, for that matter.
And hey, look, a black cat! For Halloween I guess! Spoooooky.
Read "Five for Fighting" at 512 Words or Fewer
And hey, look, a black cat! For Halloween I guess! Spoooooky.
Read "Five for Fighting" at 512 Words or Fewer
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Six "Gangnam Style" Spoofs You Must See
You* will, of course, have already seen the original music video by Korean pop star PSY:
0. "Gangnam Style"
Find out what he's saying in this annotated slideshow by a Hawaiian design firm. Not that it really matters.
Like all Internet memes, "Gangnam Style" quickly spawned countless imitators. Some are good, some... not so much. After spending way too much time online (WHAT ELSE IS NEW), I've collected some notable specimens below.
1. "Mitt Romney Style"
Let's just get this out of the way. This first video, by the hit-or-miss comedy factory CollegeHumor, is significant for being topical, though it probably won't age well past this election season. I'm not a big fan of the clumsy lyrics, and it's more a case of co-opting the meme to make a partisan political statement rather than paying tribute to the original sentiment, but c'mon. "Hey wealthy ladies?" Gotta love that bit. (WARNING: open captioned NSFW language.)
2. "Deadpool vs Gangnam Style"
Many "Gangnam" tributes feature the original music over new visuals, but few follow in the cheesy dance steps of the original as closely as this one. It features an anonymous cosplayer prancing around what appears to be a shopping mall, and it's completely nonsensical, ridiculous, and charming. There's even a Mobile Suit Gundam sight gag early on, and you should watch all the way to the end for outtakes. (Bonus: check out a live "Gundam Style" performance by some enthusiastic amateurs.)
3. "Klingon Style"
As you know, Bob, I'm a huge Star Trek fan, so my seeing this video was inevitable. The parallel setup works remarkably well—who knew Klingon warriors and K-pop rappers had such similar attitudes? Also, that dancing Vulcan kid is just the first of many well-placed sight gags, mostly from the TNG era. Just wait until the elevator scene at 1:55. (Speaking of which, in another universe: Han always shoots first.)
4. "A cappella Cover by Voiceland"
I'm also an ex-Richter Scale, so I was bound to stumble across at least one pure vocal rendition. This jazzy cover by Bulgarian group Voiceland Ensemble follows the old-school a cappella tradition, re-interpreting the original in a less overbearing style and with evocative words sung in the place of instrumental sounds (as opposed to making imitative noises—long story, ask me later). The stereo effects are a little distracting, but it's a decent live performance.
5. "Gangnam Busters"
My introduction to the world of musical mash-ups was "The Ghost That Feeds," which weaves together Ray Parker, Jr.'s immortal Ghostbusters theme song and Nine Inch Nails' "The Hand That Feeds." I still haven't heard any other mash-up which matches that one for pure technical quality, but "Gangnam Busters" comes close. The audio transitions are seamless and well-timed, even if it could have used a little more Ray toward the end.
6. "Lo Pan Style"
Finally, this is how you win the Internet.
Have you encountered other "Gangnam"-inspired music videos that tickle your fancy? Please share in the comments!
* Unless you're my wife, who refuses to watch it on principle.
0. "Gangnam Style"
Find out what he's saying in this annotated slideshow by a Hawaiian design firm. Not that it really matters.
Like all Internet memes, "Gangnam Style" quickly spawned countless imitators. Some are good, some... not so much. After spending way too much time online (WHAT ELSE IS NEW), I've collected some notable specimens below.
1. "Mitt Romney Style"
Let's just get this out of the way. This first video, by the hit-or-miss comedy factory CollegeHumor, is significant for being topical, though it probably won't age well past this election season. I'm not a big fan of the clumsy lyrics, and it's more a case of co-opting the meme to make a partisan political statement rather than paying tribute to the original sentiment, but c'mon. "Hey wealthy ladies?" Gotta love that bit. (WARNING: open captioned NSFW language.)
2. "Deadpool vs Gangnam Style"
Many "Gangnam" tributes feature the original music over new visuals, but few follow in the cheesy dance steps of the original as closely as this one. It features an anonymous cosplayer prancing around what appears to be a shopping mall, and it's completely nonsensical, ridiculous, and charming. There's even a Mobile Suit Gundam sight gag early on, and you should watch all the way to the end for outtakes. (Bonus: check out a live "Gundam Style" performance by some enthusiastic amateurs.)
3. "Klingon Style"
As you know, Bob, I'm a huge Star Trek fan, so my seeing this video was inevitable. The parallel setup works remarkably well—who knew Klingon warriors and K-pop rappers had such similar attitudes? Also, that dancing Vulcan kid is just the first of many well-placed sight gags, mostly from the TNG era. Just wait until the elevator scene at 1:55. (Speaking of which, in another universe: Han always shoots first.)
4. "A cappella Cover by Voiceland"
I'm also an ex-Richter Scale, so I was bound to stumble across at least one pure vocal rendition. This jazzy cover by Bulgarian group Voiceland Ensemble follows the old-school a cappella tradition, re-interpreting the original in a less overbearing style and with evocative words sung in the place of instrumental sounds (as opposed to making imitative noises—long story, ask me later). The stereo effects are a little distracting, but it's a decent live performance.
5. "Gangnam Busters"
My introduction to the world of musical mash-ups was "The Ghost That Feeds," which weaves together Ray Parker, Jr.'s immortal Ghostbusters theme song and Nine Inch Nails' "The Hand That Feeds." I still haven't heard any other mash-up which matches that one for pure technical quality, but "Gangnam Busters" comes close. The audio transitions are seamless and well-timed, even if it could have used a little more Ray toward the end.
6. "Lo Pan Style"
Finally, this is how you win the Internet.
Have you encountered other "Gangnam"-inspired music videos that tickle your fancy? Please share in the comments!
* Unless you're my wife, who refuses to watch it on principle.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
SnoutCast #140: Back to the Summit
This week, Curtis finds out how much DeeAnn remembers from the Game Control Summit way back in January. Want to take the Dumb Quiz™ yourself? Go watch the videos first, then listen to this podcast and play along at home!
[ Download mp3 - 23 MB ]
01:00 - "teachable"
02:19 - GC Summit 2012 videos at snout.org/gcs2012
04:18 - play along with our Dumb Quiz™!
05:18 - Corey Anderson: "Running Someone Else's Game"
08:13 - Jett Jones: "WHO Re-Cast, Creator's Perspective"
09:13 - Bob Schaffer: "BAWHO Post-Mortem, Non-Creator's Perspective"
12:43 - Scott Blomquist: "Puzzle Theory 3: Designing for Portability"
14:41 - Linda Holman: "Shinteki Aquarius, Seven Years Later"
17:20 - Andy Rich: "MSPH14 Simulcast Post-Mortem"
19:28 - more GC stuff at snout.org/game/#gc
20:59 - (phonetic alphabet FAIL)
23:22 - The End
Tell us we're wrong on the Internet! E-mail podcast@snout.org or post a comment at www.snout.org/podcast.
Music: instrumentals from "Code Monkey" and "A Talk with George" by Jonathan Coulton
[ Subscribe to SnoutCast / iTunes link ]
[ Download mp3 - 23 MB ]
01:00 - "teachable"
02:19 - GC Summit 2012 videos at snout.org/gcs2012
04:18 - play along with our Dumb Quiz™!
05:18 - Corey Anderson: "Running Someone Else's Game"
08:13 - Jett Jones: "WHO Re-Cast, Creator's Perspective"
09:13 - Bob Schaffer: "BAWHO Post-Mortem, Non-Creator's Perspective"
12:43 - Scott Blomquist: "Puzzle Theory 3: Designing for Portability"
14:41 - Linda Holman: "Shinteki Aquarius, Seven Years Later"
17:20 - Andy Rich: "MSPH14 Simulcast Post-Mortem"
19:28 - more GC stuff at snout.org/game/#gc
20:59 - (phonetic alphabet FAIL)
23:22 - The End
Tell us we're wrong on the Internet! E-mail podcast@snout.org or post a comment at www.snout.org/podcast.
Music: instrumentals from "Code Monkey" and "A Talk with George" by Jonathan Coulton
[ Subscribe to SnoutCast / iTunes link ]
Friday, October 19, 2012
Damned Lies of the Week
After watching @snarke's vlog from yesterday, I was going to post a comment about the most effective job search strategy being talking to people you know—friends, family, co-workers and former colleagues. I even had a statistic: my wife, who's also job-hunting right now, recently looked at her past work experience and determined that she got roughly 70% of all the jobs she's ever had through personal connections.
But that was only anecdotal evidence. I was sure somebody had done a more comprehensive study of this phenomenon, so I decided to go looking for primary sources.
And then the Internet disappointed me.
This is the statistic—totally made-up, as far as I can tell—which everyone likes to throw around: "80% of jobs are found through networking." (Sometimes it's "70%," but most people seem to like "80%.") The earliest online reference I could find is this 2008 Examiner.com article, which says: "According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 70 percent of all jobs are found through networking." Of course, I couldn't verify that anywhere on the BLS web site, and the fact that Examiner.com does no editing or fact-checking does not inspire confidence.
There's further discussion in this LinkedIn Q&A thread from 2009. But the only source named there is a New York State Department of Labor web page which actually says "over half of all employees get their jobs through networking, according to BH Careers International." Please note that "over half" is not a specific number, and the company "BH Careers International" seems really sketchy.
A lot of the web sites who cite the "80%" number these days seem to credit "ABC News." The earliest reference to that appears to be this career coach blog post, dated May 7th, 2010. I haven't been able to find any actual news report which provides this information, either national or local. Also quoted in that same blog post is "70% of jobs are found through networking" according to the "US Dept of Labor & Statistics." Sound familiar? See above to close the circle of lies.
So I'm going to call this an urban legend of sorts, and stick with DeeAnn's provable 70% figure, even though it's a small sample size. Meanwhile, here are some other job hunt-related statistics which may or may not be correct, but are actually sourced:
There you have it: still unscientific and hardly rigorous, but at least properly attributed, so you know who to blame. Happy Friday!
But that was only anecdotal evidence. I was sure somebody had done a more comprehensive study of this phenomenon, so I decided to go looking for primary sources.
And then the Internet disappointed me.
This is the statistic—totally made-up, as far as I can tell—which everyone likes to throw around: "80% of jobs are found through networking." (Sometimes it's "70%," but most people seem to like "80%.") The earliest online reference I could find is this 2008 Examiner.com article, which says: "According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 70 percent of all jobs are found through networking." Of course, I couldn't verify that anywhere on the BLS web site, and the fact that Examiner.com does no editing or fact-checking does not inspire confidence.
There's further discussion in this LinkedIn Q&A thread from 2009. But the only source named there is a New York State Department of Labor web page which actually says "over half of all employees get their jobs through networking, according to BH Careers International." Please note that "over half" is not a specific number, and the company "BH Careers International" seems really sketchy.
A lot of the web sites who cite the "80%" number these days seem to credit "ABC News." The earliest reference to that appears to be this career coach blog post, dated May 7th, 2010. I haven't been able to find any actual news report which provides this information, either national or local. Also quoted in that same blog post is "70% of jobs are found through networking" according to the "US Dept of Labor & Statistics." Sound familiar? See above to close the circle of lies.
So I'm going to call this an urban legend of sorts, and stick with DeeAnn's provable 70% figure, even though it's a small sample size. Meanwhile, here are some other job hunt-related statistics which may or may not be correct, but are actually sourced:
- The 2011 US edition of SimplyHired's "Today's Job Seeker Report" reports that "over half of job seekers have been hired through a friend’s referral at some point in their career" and "nearly a third of job seekers found their last job through networking—by far the most effective of all job sources."
- In April, 2012, a CareerBuilder survey indicated that 37% of employers use social networking sites (Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, etc.) to research job candidates.
- Finally, Jobvite's 2012 Social Job Seeker Survey (registration required for download) was conducted in early September of this year. One of their findings was that "1 in 6 job seekers credits social media with their current job"—specifically, "Internet job board (such as craigslist or hotjobs)" was the most popular response at 32%, with "referral from professional or personal contacts" a close second at 31%. However, also note that "41% of job seekers found [their] favorite/best job from friends or family," versus only 17% for "online job board[s]."
There you have it: still unscientific and hardly rigorous, but at least properly attributed, so you know who to blame. Happy Friday!
Friday Flash Fiction: "I'll Fly Away"
Well, maybe it's YA, and maybe it ain't. What's it to you?
Read "I'll Fly Away" at 512 Words or Fewer
Read "I'll Fly Away" at 512 Words or Fewer
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
SnoutCast #139: Horseshoes and Hand Grenades
Inspired in part by @OdinsHunt, a protracted, spoiler-riddled discussion of a time-honored puzzle tradition: backsolving!
[ Download mp3 - 36 MB ]
00:59 - "approximate"
02:08 - hey, remember that Hunt for Odin's Horse thing?
04:44 - on the posting of past puzzles online (e.g., Puzzled Pint)
06:15 - see also: JoCo Cruise Crazy 2: Dead Man's Quest?
12:55 - who are the people on your puzzle-hunting team?
24:48 - "Is this your card?"
32:50 - again with the WarTron
36:13 - (for the record: also DAIN, DAUN, or DAWN)
38:57 - The End
Tell us we're wrong on the Internet! E-mail podcast@snout.org or post a comment at www.snout.org/podcast.
Music: instrumentals from "Code Monkey" and "Skullcrusher Mountain" by Jonathan Coulton
[ Subscribe to SnoutCast / iTunes link ]
[ Download mp3 - 36 MB ]
00:59 - "approximate"
02:08 - hey, remember that Hunt for Odin's Horse thing?
04:44 - on the posting of past puzzles online (e.g., Puzzled Pint)
06:15 - see also: JoCo Cruise Crazy 2: Dead Man's Quest?
12:55 - who are the people on your puzzle-hunting team?
24:48 - "Is this your card?"
32:50 - again with the WarTron
36:13 - (for the record: also DAIN, DAUN, or DAWN)
38:57 - The End
Tell us we're wrong on the Internet! E-mail podcast@snout.org or post a comment at www.snout.org/podcast.
Music: instrumentals from "Code Monkey" and "Skullcrusher Mountain" by Jonathan Coulton
[ Subscribe to SnoutCast / iTunes link ]
Sunday, October 14, 2012
A Piece for Crows
Had a great time today playing the Hunt for Odin's Horse as part of team "Los Puzzle Snouts," comprising Jeff and Donna from Los Jefes, Matt from The Puzzle Underground (and Puzzled Pint Game Control), and DeeAnn and myself from Team Snout. Thanks to Mike Selinker and company for a fun event!
We also had a good time yesterday doing the warm-up puzzles online, and in between, I had this conversation with a couple of birds:
Good night everybody!
We also had a good time yesterday doing the warm-up puzzles online, and in between, I had this conversation with a couple of birds:
Good night everybody!
Friday, October 12, 2012
Friday Flash Fiction: "By Any Other Name"
I also considered titling this one "Two-Hander," but that seemed a bit too on the nose.
Read "By Any Other Name" at 512 Words or Fewer
Read "By Any Other Name" at 512 Words or Fewer
Thursday, October 11, 2012
This is My Enterprise
United Federation of Planets, Starfleet, Constitution-class heavy cruiser refit, launched in 2273. This is the first starship I truly loved. This is my Enterprise.*
I was born four years after TOS went off the air (personal trivia: though I fastidiously searched out reruns, I didn't actually see "The Trouble with Tribbles" until years after I'd seen every other episode of the original seventy-nine). I'm sure I saw TMP when it opened, but the one that stuck with me was Wrath of Khan. Those red uniforms, the James Horner score, all the visual effects (especially the nebula sequence), and the production design (especially the starships)--that was my Trek.
There was more to come, but it would only succeed, not replace. I loved TNG; it was the first Trek I actually watched on television as it aired (I also missed TAS, for obvious reasons), starting in my first year of high school and ending in my junior year of college--but not really, because there was still DSN and then VOY, providing a solid fourteen years of continuity. (We're not going to talk about ENT. Just... no. But wow, apparently I was a really cranky blogger back in the early 2000s.)
I grew up with TNG, and Trek grew alongside me. I loved the expanded universe we got to see through those interconnected series, but it was a different aesthetic than the previous adventures, which had been all about one ship and one crew. I'll never forget seeing Khan when I was nine years old, being totally freaked out by the Ceti eels, not really understanding that Spock was dead (and allowing my father to convince me, on the way home from the movie, that my favorite character was "just unconscious"), and regardless of everything, wanting to live in that world, on that starship.
Different things about later Treks would captivate me--the insane detail of the TNG writers' tech manual (a photocopied version of which I found for sale at a convention), Picard's gravitas, Data's fine-tuned humor, DSN's sprawling politics, the EMH's sarcastic wit--but nothing caught my eye quite like the look of that TOS-movie-era Enterprise. And it still makes me nostalgic for that time, when I was also deep into comics and enthralled by the brazen narrative of the 1980s DC Trek books, which danced around canon and told unforgettable stories (go find a copy of The Mirror Universe Saga and tell me I'm wrong).
Even now, when someone utters the word "starship," or when I'm doodling in my notebook, the first image that comes to mind is from Star Trek. But it's not the classic TOS model, or the revolutionary Enterprise-D** (and certainly not the Abramsverse oddity). It's the NCC-1701-A refit, and it always will be.
This is my Enterprise.
* Nitpickers will note that the images here actually depict the Enterprise-A, technically a different vessel--either the Ti-Ho or the Yorktown, depending on which non-canon source you believe--which Starfleet renamed to replace the ship destroyed toward the end of Search for Spock. But it's the exact same model, and just about everyone now uses the "A" designation to distinguish this design from the TOS Enterprise. Get over it.
** By the way, I can still tell at a glance whether I'm looking at the original six-foot model or the smaller, four-foot model built later to make motion control shots easier. I am a huge fucking nerd, and I'm okay with that.
Tuesday, October 09, 2012
SnoutCast #138: Gamer Profile - Corby Anderson
This week, an extended conversation with Corby Anderson, late of WarTron Game Control!
[ Download mp3 - 42 MB ]
00:00 - teaser: "every single show...type type type"
01:25 - "wordy"
02:22 - reminiscing about JoCo Cruise Crazy 2
04:07 - whence thy interest in puzzles, and hunts thereof, kind sir?
08:03 - Corby's first Game experience: Genome
10:22 - what type of puzzle event do you prefer?
13:02 - Corby's day job
14:45 - "Excel always wins."
18:03 - WarTron Bit Builder backstory (minor puzzle spoilers)
24:21 - playing Games vs. being on GC
28:48 - yeah, yeah, we're planning a JCCC3 puzzle hunt
32:05 - everybody loves source control software
39:52 - thumbs up for Samsara
43:04 - (Corby has never been to Cinetopia)
45:24 - The End
Tell us we're wrong on the Internet! E-mail podcast@snout.org or post a comment at www.snout.org/podcast.
Music: instrumentals from "Code Monkey" and "Baby Got Back" by Jonathan Coulton
[ Subscribe to SnoutCast / iTunes link ]
[ Download mp3 - 42 MB ]
00:00 - teaser: "every single show...type type type"
01:25 - "wordy"
02:22 - reminiscing about JoCo Cruise Crazy 2
04:07 - whence thy interest in puzzles, and hunts thereof, kind sir?
08:03 - Corby's first Game experience: Genome
10:22 - what type of puzzle event do you prefer?
13:02 - Corby's day job
14:45 - "Excel always wins."
18:03 - WarTron Bit Builder backstory (minor puzzle spoilers)
24:21 - playing Games vs. being on GC
28:48 - yeah, yeah, we're planning a JCCC3 puzzle hunt
32:05 - everybody loves source control software
39:52 - thumbs up for Samsara
43:04 - (Corby has never been to Cinetopia)
45:24 - The End
Tell us we're wrong on the Internet! E-mail podcast@snout.org or post a comment at www.snout.org/podcast.
Music: instrumentals from "Code Monkey" and "Baby Got Back" by Jonathan Coulton
[ Subscribe to SnoutCast / iTunes link ]
Monday, October 08, 2012
So That Happened
"That" being a fictitious, weekend-long zombie apocalypse! What, you didn't notice all the unusual tweets? It was, in fact, an online project organized by writer Erin Underwoood.
My contribution began with last Friday's 512 Words or Fewer story and continued in the form of blog posts from Jasper and Tye right here on the HotSheet. Here's a handy chronological index (each link should open in a new window):
My contribution began with last Friday's 512 Words or Fewer story and continued in the form of blog posts from Jasper and Tye right here on the HotSheet. Here's a handy chronological index (each link should open in a new window):
- 512 Words or Fewer: "Welcome to PDX"
- Jasper blog: "There goes the neighborhood!"
- Tye blog: "why are there so many STRANGERS here today"
- Jasper blog: "I am very hungry!"
- Tye blog: "departure means SNACK and that's GOOD"
- Jasper blog: "Humans are weird!"
- Tye blog: "so BORED"
- Jasper blog: "This bathroom is too small for three cats!"
- Tye blog: "the FOOD is coming"
- Jasper blog: "Some cats are too excitable!"
- Tye blog: "some cats are LAME"
- Jasper blog: "Why are humans so noisy!"
- Tye blog: "it's NOT NICE to cry wolf"
Sunday, October 07, 2012
it's NOT NICE to cry wolf
hello... i'm TYE and i don't think it's very nice to have a thing that sounds like another thing when the new thing doesn't even do what the old thing did...
let me explain...
so i guess JASPER told you about the noisy humans who ran around and chased away the strange outdoor humans... well they used a weird noise machine to do that... and it sounded a LOT like the FOOD NOISE that FOOD ROBOT makes when it wants to feed us... i was very confused by that... LADY GREY agreed that it was almost exactly the same sound... except longer and louder... yeah i know THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID...
anyway... i figured out after the first few times that it was NOT FOOD ROBOT calling us... and i realized that if the noise came from OUTSIDE the apartment i could ignore it because it didn't mean we were going to get food...
now the good news is... our humans came back tonight just before dark and cleaned up all the mess and gave us wet cat food which is great... the bad news is... they also brought back one of those weird noise machines... i call it WEIRD NOISE ROBOT... because it's like FOOD ROBOT... except it makes the WEIRD NOISE and DOES NOT give us cat food... LAME...
the problem is... the humans put WEIRD NOISE ROBOT right outside the sliding glass door... so it's very close to FOOD ROBOT who is indoors... and when either one of them makes a noise... it sounds like it could be coming from the same place... so of course i have to RUSH out there and make sure i'm not missing any food... and usually it's a false alarm...
but the humans think it's important to have WEIRD NOISE ROBOT there... i heard them talking about how it would "repel" the strange outdoor humans if they got too close... and it seems to be working... which makes it less interesting for us cats to look out the windows now...
even so... i prefer having OUR humans home again... i missed hanging out with them in the TV room... and sleeping in the bed with them... and eating wet cat food... i like food... mmm... FOOD...
Did you enjoy this blog post? Check out more stories by Curtis C. Chen!
let me explain...
so i guess JASPER told you about the noisy humans who ran around and chased away the strange outdoor humans... well they used a weird noise machine to do that... and it sounded a LOT like the FOOD NOISE that FOOD ROBOT makes when it wants to feed us... i was very confused by that... LADY GREY agreed that it was almost exactly the same sound... except longer and louder... yeah i know THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID...
anyway... i figured out after the first few times that it was NOT FOOD ROBOT calling us... and i realized that if the noise came from OUTSIDE the apartment i could ignore it because it didn't mean we were going to get food...
now the good news is... our humans came back tonight just before dark and cleaned up all the mess and gave us wet cat food which is great... the bad news is... they also brought back one of those weird noise machines... i call it WEIRD NOISE ROBOT... because it's like FOOD ROBOT... except it makes the WEIRD NOISE and DOES NOT give us cat food... LAME...
the problem is... the humans put WEIRD NOISE ROBOT right outside the sliding glass door... so it's very close to FOOD ROBOT who is indoors... and when either one of them makes a noise... it sounds like it could be coming from the same place... so of course i have to RUSH out there and make sure i'm not missing any food... and usually it's a false alarm...
but the humans think it's important to have WEIRD NOISE ROBOT there... i heard them talking about how it would "repel" the strange outdoor humans if they got too close... and it seems to be working... which makes it less interesting for us cats to look out the windows now...
even so... i prefer having OUR humans home again... i missed hanging out with them in the TV room... and sleeping in the bed with them... and eating wet cat food... i like food... mmm... FOOD...
Did you enjoy this blog post? Check out more stories by Curtis C. Chen!
Why are humans so noisy!
Jasper here! If there are any humans reading this blog please leave a comment and tell me why humans feel the need to be so noisy all the time!
As you know there have been lots of strange outdoor humans shuffling around the apartment complex since yesterday! But even though there have been a lot of them at least they were fairly quiet! They did groan quite continuously but it was at a polite volume! Not like these new humans who showed up in loud vehicles and shouted at each other and ran around setting off what sounded like firecrackers! Lots of them!
But that's not even the worst part! After they interrupted our cat nap with their running and banging, the new noisy humans brought out another kind of machine that made a sound very similar to Food Robot's food noise! Tye was so excited by it he kicked me in the side when he launched himself off the bed to run out there! And he was very disappointed after waiting in front of Food Robot for many minutes and no cat food came out!
The noisy humans have now moved on to another part of the complex with their weird sound machine, and they also seem to have gotten rid of most of the strange outdoor humans! Tye and Lady Grey are a little disappointed that they have fewer things to watch through the windows, but they'll get over it. I for one will appreciate the relative peace and quiet for as long as it lasts! Now back to napping!
Did you enjoy this blog post? Check out more stories by Curtis C. Chen!
As you know there have been lots of strange outdoor humans shuffling around the apartment complex since yesterday! But even though there have been a lot of them at least they were fairly quiet! They did groan quite continuously but it was at a polite volume! Not like these new humans who showed up in loud vehicles and shouted at each other and ran around setting off what sounded like firecrackers! Lots of them!
But that's not even the worst part! After they interrupted our cat nap with their running and banging, the new noisy humans brought out another kind of machine that made a sound very similar to Food Robot's food noise! Tye was so excited by it he kicked me in the side when he launched himself off the bed to run out there! And he was very disappointed after waiting in front of Food Robot for many minutes and no cat food came out!
The noisy humans have now moved on to another part of the complex with their weird sound machine, and they also seem to have gotten rid of most of the strange outdoor humans! Tye and Lady Grey are a little disappointed that they have fewer things to watch through the windows, but they'll get over it. I for one will appreciate the relative peace and quiet for as long as it lasts! Now back to napping!
Did you enjoy this blog post? Check out more stories by Curtis C. Chen!
some cats are LAME
hello... i'm TYE and i don't see what's wrong with looking out the windows... we do it all the time... so what if there are some strange humans out there... it's not like they even notice us cats...
i will admit... it gave me pause when we first escaped the bathroom and i saw this huge mess on my way to FOOD ROBOT... the back area of the apartment next to the sliding glass door is totally wrecked... there's stuff everywhere... it's even WORSE than when the humans ran that GAME this summer...
the big wooden table has been BROKEN into pieces... also some of the chairs... and there are books and board game boxes scattered all over the floor... plus there's some weird sticky RED stuff spilled on the carpet... we have to step very carefully to avoid getting our paws dirty...
but whatever... the humans leave their stuff lying around all the time... maybe they were DISTRACTED by packing for their trip last night... and that's why it's worse than usual... i'm sure they'll clean it up after they get back... or the cat-sitter will when she gets here later...
meanwhile... like i said... i don't see a problem with looking out the windows... and we could even see the humans when they return... some other cats should just chill out...
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i will admit... it gave me pause when we first escaped the bathroom and i saw this huge mess on my way to FOOD ROBOT... the back area of the apartment next to the sliding glass door is totally wrecked... there's stuff everywhere... it's even WORSE than when the humans ran that GAME this summer...
the big wooden table has been BROKEN into pieces... also some of the chairs... and there are books and board game boxes scattered all over the floor... plus there's some weird sticky RED stuff spilled on the carpet... we have to step very carefully to avoid getting our paws dirty...
but whatever... the humans leave their stuff lying around all the time... maybe they were DISTRACTED by packing for their trip last night... and that's why it's worse than usual... i'm sure they'll clean it up after they get back... or the cat-sitter will when she gets here later...
meanwhile... like i said... i don't see a problem with looking out the windows... and we could even see the humans when they return... some other cats should just chill out...
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Some cats are too excitable!
Jasper here! I don't know what's going on out there but we appear to be safe for now!
So all three of us cats--Tye, Lady Grey, and me--were at the door, pushing on it and scratching it to make noise so the humans would hear us and let us out! We'd been in there all night, and we were ready to leave! Especially Tye, who wanted to go to Food Robot for our breakfast!
Well, the humans never showed up, but after several minutes of pawing at the round knobby thing, Tye did something to it that opened the door! And of course we were all leaning on it, so it flew open and banged against the wall, and Tye was off like a shot while Lady Grey and I observed cautiously! We came out after a few minutes, though, when nothing bad happened and we heard Tye crunching on the cat food.
The good news is, Food Robot remains undamaged! And though there are still a lot of those strange outdoor humans milling about on the grass, they don't seem to be interested in us or our cat food! Tye insists on watching them through the windows, even though I have a bad feeling about this! It doesn't help that Lady Grey is encouraging him with her own window-watching behavior. Be careful, you guys!
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So all three of us cats--Tye, Lady Grey, and me--were at the door, pushing on it and scratching it to make noise so the humans would hear us and let us out! We'd been in there all night, and we were ready to leave! Especially Tye, who wanted to go to Food Robot for our breakfast!
Well, the humans never showed up, but after several minutes of pawing at the round knobby thing, Tye did something to it that opened the door! And of course we were all leaning on it, so it flew open and banged against the wall, and Tye was off like a shot while Lady Grey and I observed cautiously! We came out after a few minutes, though, when nothing bad happened and we heard Tye crunching on the cat food.
The good news is, Food Robot remains undamaged! And though there are still a lot of those strange outdoor humans milling about on the grass, they don't seem to be interested in us or our cat food! Tye insists on watching them through the windows, even though I have a bad feeling about this! It doesn't help that Lady Grey is encouraging him with her own window-watching behavior. Be careful, you guys!
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the FOOD is coming
hello... i'm TYE and i know there is FOOD out there because i heard the FOOD NOISE that means FOOD ROBOT is going to give us FOOD soon and i want to EAT THE FOOD...
WHY did the humans lock us in here... i mean i know they gave us a bunch of food too but IT'S NOT THE SAME... i'm sure FOOD ROBOT misses us and will be wondering where we are... i'm really more concerned about FOOD ROBOT honestly... i just don't want it to be sad and lonely...
anyway... it took some convincing but JASPER is FINALLY helping LADY GREY and me with this bathroom door... he's SCRATCHING so the humans will hear us and remember that we're in here... LADY GREY is leaning against the door and pushing on it with me...
i'm also standing up and grabbing that round KNOBBY thing that the humans use to open the door... i still don't know how it works BUT it can't hurt to mess with it a little more...
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WHY did the humans lock us in here... i mean i know they gave us a bunch of food too but IT'S NOT THE SAME... i'm sure FOOD ROBOT misses us and will be wondering where we are... i'm really more concerned about FOOD ROBOT honestly... i just don't want it to be sad and lonely...
anyway... it took some convincing but JASPER is FINALLY helping LADY GREY and me with this bathroom door... he's SCRATCHING so the humans will hear us and remember that we're in here... LADY GREY is leaning against the door and pushing on it with me...
i'm also standing up and grabbing that round KNOBBY thing that the humans use to open the door... i still don't know how it works BUT it can't hurt to mess with it a little more...
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This bathroom is too small for three cats!
Jasper here! We're still locked in the bathroom, but we just heard the food noise through the door, and now Tye is frantic because we can't get to Food Robot! I hope the humans let us out soon, because there isn't much left to eat in here!
It's been a pretty weird night. First the humans locked us in here, then there were all those strange noises outside, and then Tye wanted to wrestle with Lady Grey and me because he couldn't run around! So of course all the rugs are messed up now and no good for sitting on! Not cool!
Oh great! Now Tye's scratching at the door and he's got Lady Grey all worked up too! Guys! I know you're hungry but stop freaking out! We'll be okay! Seriously, young cats these days!
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It's been a pretty weird night. First the humans locked us in here, then there were all those strange noises outside, and then Tye wanted to wrestle with Lady Grey and me because he couldn't run around! So of course all the rugs are messed up now and no good for sitting on! Not cool!
Oh great! Now Tye's scratching at the door and he's got Lady Grey all worked up too! Guys! I know you're hungry but stop freaking out! We'll be okay! Seriously, young cats these days!
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so BORED
hello... i'm TYE and i am SO BORED...
it sounds like the humans have left... there was a DOOR NOISE a while ago and it's been pretty quiet since then... i mean there are still strange noises from far away outside the apartment... but nothing inside...
unfortunately this BATHROOM we're trapped in is kind of small... i mean it's pretty spacious for a bathroom i guess... but there's not enough room for JASPER and LADY GREY and me to all sit on the COUNTER at once... and we don't have enough space to RUN and chase each other... i've had to resort to playing with WRESTLING... which they don't like so much...
oh well... i guess we'll go to SLEEP in a little while... at least the humans left plenty of food and water in here... plus one of their portable computers... so we can still look at CAT PICTURES ON THE INTERNET...
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it sounds like the humans have left... there was a DOOR NOISE a while ago and it's been pretty quiet since then... i mean there are still strange noises from far away outside the apartment... but nothing inside...
unfortunately this BATHROOM we're trapped in is kind of small... i mean it's pretty spacious for a bathroom i guess... but there's not enough room for JASPER and LADY GREY and me to all sit on the COUNTER at once... and we don't have enough space to RUN and chase each other... i've had to resort to playing with WRESTLING... which they don't like so much...
oh well... i guess we'll go to SLEEP in a little while... at least the humans left plenty of food and water in here... plus one of their portable computers... so we can still look at CAT PICTURES ON THE INTERNET...
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Humans are weird!
Jasper here! I don't know what's going on, but humans are weird!
Tye and I were enjoying our midnight snack from Food Robot when another one of those strange outdoor humans came right up to the sliding glass door and started tapping at it! Of course, I went and hid under the bed right away, but I heard lots of noises for a while, like the humans were knocking things over!
Once the noises stopped, the humans came and dragged me out from under the bed! I complained, but they ignored me, and they smelled really bad--sweaty and salty and kind of garbage-y! Anyway, they threw me into the cat bathroom, where Tye and Lady Grey were already hanging out, and just closed the door with all three of us inside!
I've been complaining very loudly, and I can hear them moving around outside, but they keep ignoring us! Maybe they wanted all three of us to eat together for some reason? They put a whole bunch of food and water in here. But even Tye is done eating now! And he eats a lot! We're ready to come out and do something else now!
I guess I'll just keep reminding the humans to let us out. Humans can be very forgetful sometimes!
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Tye and I were enjoying our midnight snack from Food Robot when another one of those strange outdoor humans came right up to the sliding glass door and started tapping at it! Of course, I went and hid under the bed right away, but I heard lots of noises for a while, like the humans were knocking things over!
Once the noises stopped, the humans came and dragged me out from under the bed! I complained, but they ignored me, and they smelled really bad--sweaty and salty and kind of garbage-y! Anyway, they threw me into the cat bathroom, where Tye and Lady Grey were already hanging out, and just closed the door with all three of us inside!
I've been complaining very loudly, and I can hear them moving around outside, but they keep ignoring us! Maybe they wanted all three of us to eat together for some reason? They put a whole bunch of food and water in here. But even Tye is done eating now! And he eats a lot! We're ready to come out and do something else now!
I guess I'll just keep reminding the humans to let us out. Humans can be very forgetful sometimes!
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Saturday, October 06, 2012
departure means SNACK and that's GOOD
hello... i'm TYE and i am hoping to get fed again soon... i like FOOD...
the humans came home a while ago but they have been neglecting us... they were just on the phone with their friends and now they're arguing...
one of them said "we can't leave the cats here" and the other said "they'll be safer without us, the zed only go after dogs"... then they argued for a while about whether they should say "zed" or "walkers" or something else... i don't really understand what that's all about...
but they pulled out some luggage a while ago and they've been packing things... which means they're going to go out... and they always feed us a SNACK when they leave... and as i may have mentioned... i like FOOD... so that'll be good...
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the humans came home a while ago but they have been neglecting us... they were just on the phone with their friends and now they're arguing...
one of them said "we can't leave the cats here" and the other said "they'll be safer without us, the zed only go after dogs"... then they argued for a while about whether they should say "zed" or "walkers" or something else... i don't really understand what that's all about...
but they pulled out some luggage a while ago and they've been packing things... which means they're going to go out... and they always feed us a SNACK when they leave... and as i may have mentioned... i like FOOD... so that'll be good...
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I am very hungry!
Jasper here! The humans are home again, but even though I keep reminding them to feed us, they keep ignoring me! As if making phone calls and watching TV is more important than making sure cats don't starve! It's very inconsiderate!
For some reason they seem very interested in live news reports, and they're using both their telephones at once to call lots of different people! I don't know what the humans do when they go out, but usually when they come home they're glad to see Tye and me! (And I suppose Lady Grey too. We must be nice to our guests!)
This is very unusual! I hope they come to their senses and feed us soon!
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For some reason they seem very interested in live news reports, and they're using both their telephones at once to call lots of different people! I don't know what the humans do when they go out, but usually when they come home they're glad to see Tye and me! (And I suppose Lady Grey too. We must be nice to our guests!)
This is very unusual! I hope they come to their senses and feed us soon!
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why are there so many STRANGERS here today
hello... i'm TYE and i have noticed some STRANGE things going on outside the apartment today...
the humans went out a while ago... so instead of playing with them i have been sitting in the WINDOW and enjoying the view of the outdoors... only today there have been many more humans than usual wandering around outside... and it's not children running around like there often are... these are ADULT humans chasing each other around...
also... i have seen a lot of DOGS going around without their human companions... i mean it's normal for us to see other animals out and about SANS HUMANITY... like cats and squirrels and birds... but dogs always have some kind of human nearby to clean up after them... it's pretty strange to see dogs without humans... and so MANY dogs too...
anyway... it's not that i have anything against dogs... but they're very noisy with all their BARKING... it's making JASPER and LADY GREY very uncomfortable... and it's hard to sleep with all that noise... i hope things get back to normal soon...
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the humans went out a while ago... so instead of playing with them i have been sitting in the WINDOW and enjoying the view of the outdoors... only today there have been many more humans than usual wandering around outside... and it's not children running around like there often are... these are ADULT humans chasing each other around...
also... i have seen a lot of DOGS going around without their human companions... i mean it's normal for us to see other animals out and about SANS HUMANITY... like cats and squirrels and birds... but dogs always have some kind of human nearby to clean up after them... it's pretty strange to see dogs without humans... and so MANY dogs too...
anyway... it's not that i have anything against dogs... but they're very noisy with all their BARKING... it's making JASPER and LADY GREY very uncomfortable... and it's hard to sleep with all that noise... i hope things get back to normal soon...
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There goes the neighborhood!
Jasper here! The humans just left a little while ago--we know they'll be gone for a while, because they gave us the traditional departure snack! But I hope they aren't gone too long, because weird things are happening around here!
Most days there are plenty of other humans walking to and fro outside our apartment, but today there's been a lot of unusual activity! Instead of just walking past--or running past, like the children do--there have been lots of humans shuffling about slowly. Some of them have even come up to our windows and scratched at the glass! I would expect that kind of behavior from a cat, but not from a human! I had to go hide under the bed several times.
Anyway, it doesn't seem to be bothering Tye or Lady Grey, since they're still running about madly and playing with each other. But I wish they'd keep it down! We don't want to attract too much attention--I don't like strange humans, they're usually bad news. Plus it's hard to nap when other cats are thundering about the place and crashing into you!
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Most days there are plenty of other humans walking to and fro outside our apartment, but today there's been a lot of unusual activity! Instead of just walking past--or running past, like the children do--there have been lots of humans shuffling about slowly. Some of them have even come up to our windows and scratched at the glass! I would expect that kind of behavior from a cat, but not from a human! I had to go hide under the bed several times.
Anyway, it doesn't seem to be bothering Tye or Lady Grey, since they're still running about madly and playing with each other. But I wish they'd keep it down! We don't want to attract too much attention--I don't like strange humans, they're usually bad news. Plus it's hard to nap when other cats are thundering about the place and crashing into you!
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Friday, October 05, 2012
Friday Flash Fiction: "Welcome to PDX"
As a matter of fact, yes, we have been watching a lot of Grimm lately. Why do you ask?
It's now been just over four years since DeeAnn and I moved to the Portland area, and we couldn't be happier with our decision. We've gotten to know some awesome friends, discovered beautiful locations, started new traditions, and overall have just had a lot of fun in our new home. Here's to many more fond memories of this place.
Hopefully, there won't be some kind of zombie apocalypse to ruin things.
Read "Welcome to PDX" at 512 Words or Fewer
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It's now been just over four years since DeeAnn and I moved to the Portland area, and we couldn't be happier with our decision. We've gotten to know some awesome friends, discovered beautiful locations, started new traditions, and overall have just had a lot of fun in our new home. Here's to many more fond memories of this place.
Hopefully, there won't be some kind of zombie apocalypse to ruin things.
Read "Welcome to PDX" at 512 Words or Fewer
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